R U A HOMICIDAL MANIAC ?

R U A HOMICIDAL MANIAC ?

(Signs That You May Be a Homicidal Maniac)

Your bullets have little smiley faces painted on the tips.
You find watching the 'faces of death' series to be a calming experience after a rough day.
You wear a black trench coat and combat boots. (note: not all homicidal maniacs use this attire, BUT all people who use this attire ARE homicidal maniacs).
You have a full room dedicated to your collection of medieval surgical instruments.
You use medieval surgical instruments.
the concept of using a blowtorch on something other than flesh, like say... metal, seems alien to you.
You say things like 'I'm not a butcher, I'm an artist working in an unpopular medium'.
You use the term 'thinning the herd' in relation to people.
You wake up in strange places, naked, covered in blood, and holding a pair of dental pliers.
You have a significant number of interactive conversations with inanimate objects and at some point, they start telling you to do 'bad things'.
You have memorized the location and accessibility of water towers in relation to densely populated areas, and you own a suppressed high powered rifle.
You have skeletons in your closet. Literally.
You have a well used piece of piano wire, yet you have never owned a piano.
You firmly believe that the laws of this world don't apply to you because you serve a higher power.
You have a more functional knowledge of the human anatomy then any given doctor.
Seeing horrific car accidents makes you giggle.
You think of the Spanish inquisition as 'a good start'.
The sight of mushroom clouds sexually arouses you.
Your body count rivals that of Nagasaki, 1945.
You collect any part of the human anatomy.
You like dressing up like the Easter bunny and carry around a fire axe.
You consider barbed wire a sexual aid.
After that last 'little mistake' you installed breathing holes in the trunk of your car.
You list Pinhead from 'Hellraiser' among your favorite artists.
You give live scorpion's as Valentines day gifts.
You keep your stash of potassium cyanide in your guest bathroom, in a bottle marked 'aspirin'.
You think of crucifixion as a lost art.
Most of your religious knowledge revolves around Cain.
You can identify with Cain.
You think you are Cain.
You have a tasty recipe for human flesh.
You live in New York.
You have a pet name for your knife.
You go big-game hunting with a chainsaw.
You use the lyrics to the Ministry song 'Flashback' as a how-to guide.
You support televised capital punishment, not as a deterent to crime, but because you like watching people die.
You walk through the local shopping mall looking for exploitable weaknesses in their bomb defenses.
Your basement labratory has seven different strains of Ebola; at least 320% stronger than anything the CDC has ever seen.
Your bunny slippers are actually dead rabbits.
There are more dead bodies in your back yard than there are in Arlington.
You continue working in the slaughter houses because you enjoy the smell.
Additions from Readers
You regard the Marquis DeSade as the father of modern art.
You have a freezer overflowing with meat, but you never go to the grocery store or butcher shop. You feel cannibalism is a reasonable dietary plan -- and you like to be self-reliant in terms of food procurement.
Your favorite pigment for paint and dyes is hemoglobin.
You take the phrase "brain food" literally.
You keep people, rather than hats or coats, on your rack.
You think brand names are the lettering on the iron.
When you see someone with dirty face or hands, you scrub them with 60 grit sandpaper.
When you hear the phrase "body piercing" you think of people attached to the walls with railroad spikes.
One of your fave weekend pastimes is human jigsaw puzzles.
You light your house with red light bulbs to disguise the blood stains.
You feel that Macbeth got shafted.
you consider explosives and sharp implements to be perfect gifts.
You have rusted farm implements as bedroom decor.
Sexual "protection" is extended to bullet proof vests and very strong restraints.
When asked were you got something your typical response is "I killed a -blank- and then stole his -blank-.
You have messages and psychotic pictures written in iridescent ink all around your house... sure they are usually invisible but you feel better cause you know they are there.
When placed in a crisis situation your first response is to see if their jugular is in reach...
You know the words for "dismember," "entrails," "pain," and "blood" in 12 different languages, but you can only say "hello" in two.
All your chairs have wires and rheostats attached them.
You know more cuts of meat than the butcher down the street.
Your fave percussion instrument is an automatic machine gun.
You can make your own bone meal fertilizer for free.
You have gutters on the INSIDE of your house (for blood collection)
You have a symbiotic relationship with a denture-wearing vampire.




Why would you want to be a Homicidal Maniac?

Sick of people.
Sick of life.
Bored.
Just like to kill.
Artistic statement.
All of your friends are doing it.
Looking for a good way to meet people.
Friend, doctor, pet recommended it.
Independently wealthy and looking for a hobby.
Supernatural powers.